


Of Tantrums and Tired Boyfriends

by MikeyMyears



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, The Batman (Movie 2021)
Genre: But not really because they love him, Chuck E Cheese is a menace, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Multi, Temper Tantrums, Temper tallying, They bully poor Eddie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:02:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28995669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikeyMyears/pseuds/MikeyMyears
Summary: How many times does Edward truly throw a fit? Well we’re going to find out. Oswald and Barry decide to have a challenge, who witnesses more tantrums when they’re alone with Eddie?
Relationships: Barry Allen/Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Jonathan Crane/Jervis Tetch
Comments: 9
Kudos: 6





	1. Oswald

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redreaper86](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redreaper86/gifts).



All they needed was to grab only a few things for Barry to finish dinner. He decided on a whim to impress his boyfriends by making them an extraordinary meal. Only, he was missing a few things. That was perfectly fine!! Oswald was already out with Edward and would stop by the local Walmart to see if they had what Barry needed. Everything was going so smooth, it was going so well in the first half, Oswald realized. 

Until, they had stopped along the book section. They weren’t in a huge rush, but a rush nonetheless. “Ozzie! Look what I found!” Edward squealed holding up a book in front of Oz’s face. A single text ruined the moment and Oswald drove his hand into his pocket to get at his phone.

Sparkplug: please get home soon I’ve already started on the lasagna and what’s lasagna without cheese? :))

“Eddie we’ve gotta go, Barry needs his stuff back already he’s started without us.” Oswald says looking back to still see the book being held in front of his face. Edward was stricken for a moment, holding his ‘101 Wacky Riddles’ book and following shortly behind. They rang their things up at the self checkout and got out to the parking lot.

“I bet these riddles aren’t even gonna be good! I thought it was cute though.” Edward says mostly to himself as they travel back to the car. That is until Edward gets so caught up looking at the book he trips over his own feet and the book flies up in the air. It was like slow motion, but too fast to do anything about it. The book flies into a deep puddle, right in the middle of the driveway. Ed goes for it but a thick hand grabs the back of his jacket and keeps him still. A car flies through, running right over the book. 

“NOOOOOO!!” A thundering cry can be heard from the smaller, green clad man. “MY BOOK!”, Oswald knew exactly what he’d be in for on the drive home as soon as the $4.99 paper back book hit the ground. Ed scrambles and picks it up, avoiding traffic and people both. He looks absolutely stricken, and if it wasn’t for the tears in Ed’s eyes Oswald wouldn’t be able to contain his laughter.

Instead, he takes a deep breath and says, “It’s fine Eddie, it’ll dry out on the way home come on.” With that, he’s off for the car with Edward slowly trailing behind.

Once in the car it settled in what had happened to Edward. “Why didn’t you freaking catch it?! You were right there!!” He shrieks from the passenger seat. “My hands were full, I would’ve if I could’ve.” Oswald says letting his Irish accent drawl and setting the bags in the back seat. Finally getting in to the drivers side he spots the book in question. It’s soggy, and has clumps falling from the pages. Absolutely a devastating sight to see for book lovers everywhere. But Oswald was tired and just ignored the repeat statements of “I don’t see why the groceries were important but not my riddles!”, “I can’t believe you!! I’m telling Barry as soon as we get home!”.


	2. New Suits and Spilt Drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Barry is the one having to deal with the very upset and loud Edward after he spills his drink onto himself. But who was the one to spill it? Oswald - 1, Barry - 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a little while! I’m back in business babeeeyy!!! Thank you for the comments, I love you guys <3333

“Well? How do I look?!” Eddie beams with a twirl. Tonight there was going to be a very important business meeting for Oswald. The specifics were, trafficking high named drugs from Canada to Gotham. And Oswald has to make sure he can trust who’s running things at each individual access point. Not that Barry heard that, oh no not at all. 

If anyone asked of course he’d not spill anything. But supposedly these high tech drugs were ‘healthier in which they don’t deteriorate someone’s immune system as fast as other drugs.’ Whatever that was supposed to mean, Barry doesn’t know, but he wasn’t really supposed to know either. It’s not his fault if Ozzie’s goons talk too loud. 

Shaking his thoughts, he turns back to Edward who is waiting impatiently with his foot tapping. “You look cute, like a green disco ball type of way. Everyone’s gonna see you that’s for sure.” Barry offered. “Well duhh! That’s exactly what I want. No one is going to be as bright as me in that damn lounge... besides you and Ozzie of course.” Edward tacked on quickly.

Barry chuckled and grabbed his brush. His own choice of dress? A deep red velvet suit. Of course complete with black heeled boots, per Edward’s request. 

After the last finishing touches were done (mascara, cuff-links, and hidden knives), they were set and headed for the polished limousine waiting outside for them. Barry still had to get used to this type of luxury and this was only stirring the pot. If only tonight could go perfectly as planned and chaos be diverted then everything would be okay.

—————————————————————————-

The lounge was decorated to be especially unique tonight. Penguins walking around with bow ties, their own special Penguin walking around with a bow tie. Oswald wasn’t lying when he said the top hat was crucial tonight. This particular hat was for his business deals. Of course because it has razors in the brim. A very keen eye like Edward’s would be needed to notice, and even then it was still hard to notice. 

But both Ed and Barry didn’t care, the tension was being pulled like a bow string. With them both getting hot under the collar at the sight of such a luxurious man. How did Barry get invited into this? For that he was greatful, but it still came with the lows, like right now. Edward was arguing with one of the new bartenders about his usual drink, and letting the young man know exactly who he was. 

“Eddie, he’s new give the man some slack okay?” Barry whispers to him, trying his best to defuse the situation. “But he knows exactly who I am! It’s not my fault he’s too much of a cretin to get it right on the first try!” Ed says huffing and looking back at Barry. He smiles, and runs his hand along Ed’s back. 

“Why don’t you go to our booth and wait for me up there? I’ll show him what’s up.” Barry winks to Edward, and immediately he brightens up. 

Watching his green disco ball practically run up the stairs to the balcony a hand taps his shoulder, and turning he meets Os. “Hey, he’s not causing any trouble is he?” Oswald asks almost as mortified as the poor bartender remaking the drink with shaky hands. “I’ve got it Ozzie, if it gets too bad I’ll do exactly what you asked me.” 

“Good boy.” Oswald cooes, then adds “But I can’t shake the feeling the Storm is just starting to brew. Just, please keep him away from the chandelier, we don’t want a repeat of last time.” 

Barry shivers from the memory. The last time a huge kickoff was happening at the lounge a bird managed to fly into the building and make a home onto the large crystals. Not really that Os would’ve minded, but Edward was a bit too drunk and thought himself of a hero that night. Managing to hop onto the table to save the poor birdie, he slipped and smashed right into said table, making everyone startle. 

“I’ve got this.” Barry winks again and pecks Os on the cheek. Once again he’s left alone and grabs the drink from the bartender, handing him a fifty and telling the poor boy sorry. Making his way up to the balcony he spots Edward playing with the table napkins and making a small army of penguins. 

“What took you so long Sparkplug? I was getting lonely up here.” Ed pouts, but his demeanor quickly changes when he spots his drink in Barry’s hand.

—————————————————————————

Several grasshoppers and bowls of goulash later and Edward is swaying is his seat. By several, Barry means, is seven. “Yaknow Sparkplug, I never took you for a goulash kinda kid?” Edward says giggling to himself. “But we eat it all the time, it’s Oz’s favori-“ “Shhhhhhh! It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. I love you.” Edward says with a press of his index finger to Barry’s mouth.

Giggling, Barry grabs his hand to lock their fingers together but instead Ed moves his hand away a bit too fast and knocks his seventh drink all over himself. This was it. This is the Storm, Barry thinks. Slowly, Edward’s smile morphs into a disgusted frown.

“I cannot, BELIEVE, you just let that happen...Well don’t sit there!!” Edward all but screams and Barry can feel his blood run cold. He didn’t want this to have to happen, but he guesses it needs to. A crackling sounds out from Barry’s pocket and a voice comes through. 

“Rubberduck to Speedster, is there a situation?” Oswald sounds from the other end. 

“Speedster to Rubberduck, yes there seems to be a problem. I’ll get Riddlediddle off the premises pronto.” Barry voices back. Slipping the walkie-talkie away for now, he grabs a now screaming Edward into a fireman’s carry and makes a break for the back door.

“Put me down you walking battery! You spilled my drink all over me!” “No, I actually did not.” Barry chuckles back. “You oversized generator you better give me a GOOD REASON WHY WE ARE OUTSIDE ITS SO COLD!!” Edward shouts, struggling more.

The same limousine pulls up in front of them and the driver opens the door for them, with a greatful smile, he sets Edward down on the seat, dodging his flailing arms. Then settles himself in and quickly they being to move. In a matter of minutes Edward tires himself out and a loud snoring makes itself known from Barry’s lap. 

Still carding his fingers through Ed’s hair he laughs to himself. “All in a days work.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much to Redreaper86 for helping me have an absolute lightbulb moment. This is intended to be a crackfic, and nothing too serious. Although, it is pretty entertaining to see Oswald be afraid of an animatronic mouse.


End file.
